If I had to choose only one piece of classic litterature, it wouldn’t be the Iliad or the Odyssey, it wouldn’t be any work of Cicero or Catullus. It would be Martialis’ Epigrams V.34, a short poem who goes like this :
“Hanc tibi, Fronto pater, genetrix Flaccilla, puellam
oscula commendo deliciasque meas,
paruola ne nigras horrescat Erotion umbras
oraque Tartarei prodigiosa canis.
Impletura fuit sextae modo frigora brumae,
uixisset totidem ni minus illa dies.
Inter tam ueteres ludat lasciua patronos
et nomen blaeso garriat ore meum.
Mollia non rigidus caespes tegat ossa nec illi,
terra, grauis fueris : non fuit illa tibi.”
and can be translated into :
“Fronto, father of mine, and Flaccilla, mother of mine,
I put in your care this little girl, my kisses, my bliss,
so that Erotion does not shiver when faced with the dark shadows
and the monstruous face of the hound of Tartarus.
She would have been just past her sixth winter
if she had lived six cold days more.
May she, between such ancient protectors, play joyfully,
and babble my name from her stuttering mouth.
May a soft grass cover her tender bones, and you,
earth, do not weight on her : she did not weight on you.”
This is, to me, the most tender piece of poetry ever produced by a latin author. The child in this poem was not Martialis’ daughter : she was a slave born in his household and thus worth almost nothing, according to Roman standards. As her master, he was not supposed to care about such a slave ; but he did, and fiercely.
He wrote two other poems about her death - Ep V.37 and X.61. both of them exude the same gut-grenching grief. A friend of his told him not to grieve a little slave so much : Martialis wrote an hymn to her, comparing her to pearls, to honey, to a phoenix, and then a plea for the next owner of the land she was burried in to take care of her tomb when he would not be able to do it himself anymore (he also teared his friend a new asshole through words, although that was more of a typical Martialis behavior).
Martialis was a satyrical author : he made a living mocking society as a whole and making crass (but extremely funny) jokes. His poems are about money, adultery, sex, prostitution, greed and general asshole-ish behavior. He himself was a first-grade asshole who fuckboyed his way through life while sucking it up to the emperor to get tax exemptions. He was not a love poet like Catullus or Ovid ; he did not write epics like Vergil, nor History like Livy or Suetonius. But he wrote about Erotion. He wrote about a little slave girl who had died before her sixth winter ; he wrote about grief. Not the grief of seeing Troy fall or being rejected by a woman he loved - no, he wrote about what was considered the smallest, most worthless form of life in this period, and he made it important.
We know more about Erotion than about some of the children of emperors. Her name was Erotion, she was almost six years old when she died. She was born in Martialis’ household, in winter, from slave parents. She had blonde hair, she was small, she liked to play, she stuttered when she talked. More than anything, we know Martialis loved her ; and when she died, he wrote about her, making her immortal.
Because I am tired of seeing young people (think 40 year olds!) die horribly of an almost completely preventable disease, and I haven’t seen the obligatory Tumblr PSA about it, so I’m making my own.
1. CERVICAL CANCER IS REALLY BAD
Cancers that have a good prognosis are usually cancers that can be caught early–like skin cancer, which is easily seen, and therefore usually treated very early. Cervical cancer does not give you symptoms until you have very advanced disease, which means unless someone is regularly testing your cervix, you will likely not be diagnosed early. More than half of people diagnosed with cervical cancer present with advanced disease. 75% of them will be dead within 5 years. For comparison, when caught in the earliest stage, there is a 90% 5 year survival rate. Treatment for those diagnosed is chemo and radiation, and believe me, those are not fun. If you do happen to be in the lucky 25% of survivors, if your cancer comes back, you have an 85% chance of dying within a year. Also! We think of cancer as something that happens to old people, but the average age of diagnosis for cervical cancer is 50.
2. WHO GETS CERVICAL CANCER?
Cervical cancer used to be the most common cause of cancer-related death in women in America, but at this point it’s basically a disease of People Without Pap Smears–developing countries, immigrants, low socioeconomic status, BIPOC, rural communities, LGBTQ, etc.
A Pap smear is a screening test for two things: HPV, and your cervical cells. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world. Literally half of the people in America have some strain of HPV on their body. Most HPV infections go away on their own (in people with healthy immune systems), but some strains are Very Bad, and some people are just Very Unlucky, and the HPV starts causing your cervical cells to turn cancerous. 91% of all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. So a Pap smear looks to see if your have HPV, and if so, is it one of the bad ones? And also, do you have any cancerous cells hanging about in your cervix? And! It takes 10-30 years for HPV to turn those cells into cancer, which means you have a really really long time to catch it before it becomes cancer and cut those pre-cancer cells out!
The thing my dad said I shouldn’t get because it might make me a slut. Yes! There is an HPV vaccine! You should get it! It protects you against the nine most common cancer-causing types of HPV. It’s recommended starting at age 11, and you can get it up to age 45 now! (It used to be 26, but as of 2020, it’s now extended.)You can get it from most primary care doctors, or from Planned Parenthood, CVS, Walgreens, etc. If you get the vaccine you still need Pap smears.
5. I HEARD YOU CAN ONLY GET THE VACCINE IF YOU’RE A VIRGIN
Fake news. While the vaccine does not treat old infections of HPV, it does prevent new ones, so while the benefits are theoretically decreased in those who have already been sexually active, it does not mean you will not benefit from having it!
6. WHO GETS PAP SMEARS?
Everyone with a cervix starting at age 21, until you lose your cervix or until you’re 65. You should get them every 3-5 years (depending on your exact age and what test your doctor does).
7. BUT I GOT THE VACCINE
Nice! You still need Pap smears.
8. I HAD ONE AND IT WAS HORRIBLE/I’M SCARED OF THE EXAM
Talk to your doctor about this in advance! Good gynecologists (and other providers) will work with you to minimize discomfort as much as possible. They can use a small speculum and lots of gel, prescribe anti-anxiety medications to take in advance, and some people will even use numbing creams and/or laughing gas.
9. BUT I DON’T HAVE/CAN’T SEE A GYN
Most primary care physicians can do them! So do a lot of urgent care centers!
10. BUT I’M A LESBIAN
HPV can be transmitted through oral/genital contact, hand/genital, and even hand-to-hand-then-genital, so you still need Pap smears.
11. BUT I’M A VIRGIN/ASEXUAL
You still need Pap smears. HPV can be transmitted not just through penetrative sex, but also through oral/genital, hand/genital, and hand-to-hand-then-genital, and also 9% of cervical cancers are not caused by HPV.
12. BUT I’M A TRANSGENDER MAN
If your cervix was removed, then congrats! You do not need Pap smears. Otherwise, unfortunately, you are still at risk for cervical cancer and need to be screened.
13. BUT I’M A TRANSGENDER WOMAN
Neovaginas do not need Pap smears! Congrats! Consider getting the vaccine, though, to prevent spreading HPV to others.
14. BUT I’M A CIS-GENDERED MAN
Congrats! You do not need Pap smears! You should still consider the vaccine though, not only to prevent the spread of HPV to others, but also because HPV causes 50% of all penile cancers as well.
In summary: please please please go get your pap smear. Go get vaccinated. The spread of HPV can be prevented, and cervical cancer can be caught and treated before it even becomes cancer.
DON’T FEAR THE SMEAR
#12. I had a fully hysterectomy and it is recommended to get a pap smear every 3 years despite no longer having a cervix. They will swab the inside of the vaginal canal to look for other signs of cell changes.
Transmen may still need swabs even if they do not have a cervix.
Three cats died after their owners used an anti-inflammatory cream used to treat arthritis. The Food and Drug Administration warns to keep drugs away from pets; a tiny bit can be toxic.
Important for spoonies with cats!
Creams with Flurbiprofen are fatal to cats.
Brands that use this chemical (Not a complete list):
Myoflex Traumeel Capzasin
If you have cats, check your pain relieving cream for this, and keep them from ingesting it, please!
All NSAIDs are toxic to cats - this includes ibuprofen (Advil/Motrin), Aleve (naproxen), Voltaren – which also comes in a gel form – (diclofenac), Mobic (meloxicam), aspirin… If you’re unsure, ask your pharmacist or check drugs.com.
sometimes I just need the reminder that I’m sitting in some of my answered prayers + dreams. i tend to always want more in the moment without realizing I’m in a place I used to cry for & yearn for. time to be grateful & realize I’m in a really good place in my life.
I just want to ask you to take a moment to breathe and to admire yourself for getting through this past week. I know it had its moments. I know it must have felt pretty hard at some points and you just wanted certain moments to be over. And now it is. You did it. It’s behind you and I’m so proud of you.
Y'know, some people do have a strong crying response to stress, and they might cry (even against their own will) when faced with an upsetting situation and that doesnt mean they are “gaslighting” or “manipulating” you.
There are people who use crying as a manipulation tactic? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean that every person that cries during a heated argument is trying to get under your skin. They have their own emotions and issues, and frankly, not everything other people do is a personal attack on you.
Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it
Just thinking about this today like I was ringing up a woman at the store and she was a dollar short but somebody had tipped me (personally, not the whole staff) a couple bucks earlier and I was like here take one of these and she was so shocked I would do that and made a point to remember my name and thanked me so much over like. One dollar. And then later another customer asked to pay for another couple’s drinks and they were so surprised and trying to buy them something in return but clearly that person just wanted to do something nice and they ended up having a long conversation and laughed together and it would have been so awkward if they’d completely refused or tried to give them money back and it would have ruined the moment. It’s the easiest thing to just pay forward kindness but that also means you have to accept people’s kindness when it comes around to you.
